Photo by Tim Roberts - tpr.photography_27

The power of a 10-cent paperback

This book had a powerful impact on my life. I bought it at Habitat for Humanity Restore. It’s a small store in Lynchburg with reusable furniture, lighting, electronics, windows, tile, books, and myriad other things. We go there often to see if they have what we need to fix up our older home.

I found three autobiographical books that looked interesting. Jerry and I are writing a Self-help/Memoir and I want to read as much as possible in that genre to gain insight into their writing styles. At the checkout, 30 cents. Nice.

The book “Fortunate Son” caught my eye. The Vietnam War played a big part in Lewis Puller Jr’s life. He was there for a short time, but it affected him deeply. His father was a military hero. The most decorated man in military history. Lewis carried the burden of trying to live up to his father’s name all his life.

The scars, disabilities, and loss of limbs from the war affected more people than the ones trying to heal. Our country looked down on the Vietnam Veterans and the ones with missing limbs were openly scorned. The wounds brought turmoil to the mind body and soul, casting a shadow of sadness and depression on Lewis Puller’s life. The disillusionment of the country and coming home to disfavor instead of glory led him to a depression that would last him most of his life. He felt like “the Vietnam veteran was being made the scapegoat for everything that had gone wrong with our foreign policy”. He drank heavily during the war and after to relieve stress and depression. It didn’t work.

He married the love of his life shortly before he left for Vietnam and came home a broken man. A bomb left him without his legs and some of his fingers missing. He tried to use prostheses to walk but it turned out to be extremely uncomfortable to use the contraption that held them on, and he resigned himself to his wheelchair. His wife stuck by his side with unwavering strength, supporting him in his constant pain.

His depression lasted and so did his alcohol consumption. Toward the end of this 440-page book, he becomes addicted to alcohol. His candor is remarkable and takes you through his years of turmoil and addiction. It stirred my heart to know the depths of despair, secrecy, and dependence he went through. When he finally admitted his addiction and went through rehabilitation, he was able to live a more normal life with his family. Until it grabbed hold of him again.

His compelling story of courage and humility was honest and moving. He had two children and a loving wife.  He was happy with his life, giving speeches, running for Congress, telling his story, and inspiring others.

When I looked him up on the internet, I was saddened to see that he lost his fight with alcoholism and committed suicide at age 48. Depression and alcohol tragically brought his life to an end, but his life was not a tragedy. He went through war, lost appendages, had many surgeries, was in pain most of his life, and he inspired his generation and more with his life story.

“He put up an incredible fight.” said his editor, Fred Jordan. He likened Puller's ordeal to that of a Holocaust survivor. Those who make it through such horrors "have survived a process you wouldn't expect any human being to conquer. Then, years later, they're struck down, which makes you realize how ephemeral the recovery is." Quote from the Washington Post.

 The book's power to me was seeing this man, Lewis Puller Jr., maneuver through his hardships with strength and conviction. Here are three things that struck me from the book:

 1.  Don’t try to bury your pain. It never works. Drugs, alcohol, and damaging relationships can all feel good for a while, but they will not get rid of your pain. It will always come back, then you have more problems than when you started: Drug addiction, alcoholism, divorce, and emotional pain. We all have pain from our past. What will we do with it? See a counselor or talk with a trusted friend? Do research, read books, go to classes? We can pray and trust in God to heal us, but He gives us people who can help us too. Each of us has that decision to make. If we know what path we want to take in life we will lean on God to give us wisdom and take one step at a time.

 

2. Be kind to others. Avoid staring at someone whose appearance differs from your expectations. Smile. And teach your children to do the same. There are so many gloomy faces in the world. In stores, at checkout counters, everywhere. They look like hard laborers being forced to work. Be the first to smile. Maybe even ask them how their day is going. You’ll be surprised at the response!

 3. Be flexible as life changes. When we marry, we see distinct changes in our spouse as time passes. We all change as we “grow up” (as my doctor would say). There are accidents, major and minor health issues, aging, and attitude shifts that all happen throughout life. How will we react to those changes? Will we be accepting, loving, kind, and respectful? We will expect that treatment from our spouse. Lewis Puller’s wife, Toddy, loved him with no legs. They had a son shortly after he came home from the Vietnam War and she took care of a baby and her husband. What commitment and strength she had. Where does our strength come from? Believing in ourselves and loving the person God made us to be. Accepting Jesus and calling on God’s spirit within us will help us to “grow up” with joy and peace.